It wasn't always
Keillor's Good Poems, but that was the one she
liked the bestMerwin and Sexton
and Frost, oh-my
I did plenty of reading myself that February and
MarchI read more than I had in years - novels,
short stories, three long nonfiction books about
how we had stumbled into the Iraq mess (the short
answer appeared to have W for a middle initial and
a dick for a Vice President)But mostly what I
did was paintEvery afternoon and evening I
painted until I could barely lift my strengthening
armBeachscapes, seascapes, still lifes, and
sunsets, sunsets, sunsets
But that fuse continued to smolderThe heat had
been turned down but not offThe matter of Candy
Brown wasn't the next thing, only the next obvious
thingAnd that didn't come until Valentine's Day
A hideous irony when you think of it
iii
347
ifsogirl88 to EFree19
10:19 AM
February 3
Dear Daddy, It was great to hear you got a "thumbs
up" on your paintings! Hooray! And if they DO
offer you a show, I'll catch chanel jewelry necklace the next plane and be
there in my "little black dress" (I have one,
believe it or not)Got to stay put for now and
study my butt off because - here is a secret - I'm
hoping to surprise Carson when Spring Break rolls
around in AprilThe Hummingbirds will be in
Tennessee and Arkansas then (he sez the tour is
off to a great start)I'm thinking that if I do
okay on my mid-terms, I could catch up with the
tour in either Memphis or Little RockWhat do you
think?
Ilse
My misgivings about the Baptist Hummingbird hadn't
faded, and what I thought was she was asking for
troubleBut if she was making a mistake about him,
348
it might be better for her to find out sooner
rather than laterSo - hoping to God I wasn't
making a mistake - I e-mailed back and told her
that sounded like an interesting idea, assuming
she was okay on her course-work(I couldn't bring
myself to go balls-out and tell my beloved younger
daughter that spending a week in the company of
her boyfriend, even mulberry roxanne assuming said boyfriend was
chaperoned by hardshell Baptists, was a good idea
I also suggested it might be bad policy to share
her plan with her motherThis brought a prompt
response
ifsogirl88 to EFree19
12:02 PM
February 3
Daddy Dearest: Do you think I've lost my freakin'
MIND???
Illy
No, I didn't think thatbut if she caught her
tenor doing the horizontal bop with one of the
altos when she got to Little Rock, she was going
349
to be one very unhappy If-So-GirlI had no doubt
that everything would then come out to her mother,
engagement and all, and Pam would find a lot to
say on the subject of my own sanityI had already
asked myself some questions on that score, and
mostly decided to give myself a passWhen it
comes to your kids, you find yourself making some
weird calls from time to time and just hoping they
turn out all right - calls and kidsParenting is
the greatest of hum-a-few-bars-and-I'll-fake-it
skills
Then there was Sandy Smith, the RealtorOn zucca spy fendi bag my
answering machine, Elizabeth had said I must be
one of those who believed in art for art's sake,
or Duma Key would not have called meWhat I
wanted from Sandy was confirmation that the only
thing calling me had been a glossy brochure, one
that had probably been shown to potential renters
with deep pockets all over the United States
Maybe all over the world
The response I got wasn't what I had hoped for,
but I'd be lying if I said I was completely
surprisedThat was my bad-memory year, after all
And then there's the desire to believe things
350
happened a certain way; when it comes to the past
we all stack the deck
SmithRealty9505 to EFree19
2:17 PM
February 8
Dear Edgar: I am so glad you're enjoying the place
In answer to your question, the Salmon Point
property wasn't the only brochure I sent you but
one of nine detailing lease opportunities in
Florida and JamaicaAs I recall, Salmon Point was
the only one you expressed interest inIn fact, I
remember you saying, "Don't louis vuitton pink dicker the deal, just
do it
Sandy
I read this message through twice, then murmured,
"Just do the deal and let the deal do you,
muchacha
I couldn't remember the other brochures even now,
but I remembered the one for Salmon PointThe
folder it came in had been a bright pinkA big
pink, you might say, and the words that caught my
351
eye hadn't been Salmon Point but those below it,
embossed in gold: YOUR SECRET GULFSIDE RETREATSo
maybe it had called me
Maybe it had, after all
iv
KamenDoc to EFree19
1:46 PM
February 10
Edgar: Long time no hear, as the deaf Indian said
to the prodigal son (please forgive me; bad jokes
are the only jokes I know)How goes the art?
Concerning the MRI, I suggest you call the Center
for Neurological Studies at Sarasota Memorial
HospitalThe number is 941-555-5554
Kamen
EFree19 to KamenDoc
2:19 PM
February 10
352
Kamen: Thanks for the referralCenter for
Neurological Studies sounds pretty damned serious!
But I will make the appointment very necklace chanel soo

After a while he just looked at him
"Yeah," Ridges mumbledHe sighed, thought vaguely of praying Goldstein reeled through the shock, balanced for a moment in his mind all the unutterables
"We might as well be goin'," Ridges mumbledHe stood up heavily, and began to fit the litter straps over his shouldersGoldstein hesitated, and then followed himWhen they were ready, they staggered out onto the flat shallow falls of the river and began moving downstream
They did not think there was anything odd about moving this way with a dead manThey were too accustomed to picking him up at the end of each halt; the only thing they understood was that they must carry himEven more, neither of them really believed he was deadThey knew it but they did not believe itIf he had shouted for water they would not have been surprised
They even talked buy chanel bags about what they would do with himIn one of the breaks Ridges said, "When we git him back, we'll give him a Christian burial 'cause he repented And even so they talked without feeling the wordsGoldstein did not want to realize Wilson was dead; he held his mind away from the knowledge rigidly, thinking of nothing, merely sloshing forward through the shallow water upstream, his shoes sliding on the flat smooth rocksThere was something he could not face once he understood
And Ridges was bewildered tooHe was not convinced Wilson had begged for forgiveness; it was all jumbled in his mind, and he fastened on the thought that if he could get Wilson back, get him buried decently, the conversion would takeAnd more, both of them felt a natural frustration with having carried him this far only to dieThey wanted to complete their odyssey with borse fendi success
Very slowly now, more slowly than they had moved at any time, they shambled through the water, the litter swaying between themOverhead the trees and foliage met; as before, the river wound a tunnel through the jungleTheir heads drooped, their legs moved stiffly as if afraid of collapsing if they were hinged at the kneeNow when they rested they would flop in the shallow water, leaving Wilson half submerged while they sprawled beside the litter
They were almost unconsciousTheir feet blundered along the floor of the stream, crunching on the river pebblesThe water flowing past their heels was chill, but they hardly felt itIn the dim light of the jungle aisle they stumbled onward, following the current dumblyThe animals chattered at their approach, the monkeys screaming and scratching at their haunches, the birds calling to one rolex watches for women anotherAnd then as they would pass the animals would be silent, and remain quiet for many minutes after they had goneRidges and Goldstein reeled forward like blind men, their bodies expressing a mute eloquenceBehind them the animals were silent, passing a warning through the congested channels of the jungleIt might have been a funeral march
They descended a waterfall from one flat waist-high rock to another, Ridges dropping down first, and standing in the foam while Goldstein slid the litter over, and flopped down to join himThey struggled through the deeper water, which lashed at their thighs, floating the litter between themThey worked along the riverbanks, splashed through shallow water againThey stumbled and staggered and fell many times, Wilson's body almost washing awayThey could not go more than a few feet without halting, mulberry bayswater bag and their sobbing fitted into the murmurs of the jungle, was lost in the washing of the water
They were bound to the stretcher and the corpseWhenever they fell they would lunge first at Wilson's body, and become conscious only when they had secured him of the water pouring into their own mouthsIt went deeper than any instinct they had ever hadThey did not think of what they would do with him when they reached the end, they did not even remember any longer that he was deadHis burden had been the vital thingDead, he was as much alive to them as he had ever been
And yet they lost himThey came to the rapids where Hearn had carried the vine diagonally across the streamIt had washed away in the four days that had elapsed and the water churned viciously through the rocks now with no support to guide themThey hardly realized their balenciaga twiggy danger

The idea that I
might be going crazy - hell, that I might have
already gone - remainedOne thing was beyond
doubt: I was hungry
ix
Ilse's plane arrived ten minutes ahead of schedule
She was radiant in faded jeans and a Brown
University tee-shirt, and I didn't see how Jack
could keep from falling in love with her right
there in Terminal BShe threw herself into my
arms, covered my face with kisses, then laughed
and grabbed me when I started listing to port on
my crutchI introduced her to Jack and pretended
132
not to see the small diamond (purchased at Zales,
I had no doubt) flashing on the third finger of
her left hand when they paddington chloe handbag shook
"You look wonderful, Daddy," she said as we
stepped out into the balmy December eveningFirst time since you built that
rec center in Lilydale ParkAnd you've put on
weightDon't you think so,
Jack?"
"You'd be the best judge of that," Jack said,
smiling"I'll go get the carYou okay to stand,
boss? This may take awhile
We waited on the curb with her two carry-ons and
her computerShe was smiling into my eyes
"You saw it, didn't you?" she asked"Don't
pretend you didn't
"If you mean the ring, I sawUnless you won it in
one of those quarter drop-the-claw games, I'd say
congratulations are in orderDoes Lin know?"
"Yep
"Your mother?"
"What do you omega 18k watch think, Daddy? Best guess
133
"My best guess isBecause she's so
concerned about Grampy right now
"Grampy wasn't the only reason I kept the ring in
my purse the whole time I was in California -
except to show Lin, that isMostly I just wanted
to tell you firstIs that evil?"
"No, honeyBut I was also afraid for her, and not
just because she wouldn't be twenty for another
three months
"His name's Carson Jones, and he's a divinity
student, of all things - do you believe it? I love
him, Daddy, I just love him so much
"That's great, honey," I said, but I could feel
dread climbing my legsJust don't love him too
much, I was thinkingBecause -
She was kelly hermes bags looking at me closely, her smile fading
"What? What's wrong?"
I'd forgotten how quick she was, and how well she
read meLove conveys its own psychic powers,
doesn't it?
"Nothing, honmy hip's hurting a little
"Have you had your pain pills?"
134
"ActuallyI'm stepping down on those a little
morePlan on getting off them entirely in January
That's my New Year's resolution
"Daddy, that's wonderful!"
"Although New Year's resolutions are made to be
brokenYou do what you say you're going to do"That's one of the things Mom never
liked about youI think it makes her jealous
"Hon, the divorce is just something that happened
Don't go picking sides, chanel sac okay?"
"Well, I'll tell you something else that's
happening," Ilse saidHer lips had thinned down
"Since she's been out in Palm Desert, she's seeing
an awful lot of this guy down the streetShe says
it's just coffee and sympathy - because Max lost
his father last year, and Max really likes Grampy,
and blah-blah-blah - but I see the way she looks
at him and Icare for it!" Now her
lips were almost gone, and I thought she looked
eerily like her motherThe thought that came with
this was oddly comforting: I think she'll be all
rightI think if this holy Jones boy jilts her,
she'll still be okay
135
I could see my rental car, but Jack would gucci twirl watch be
awhile

You just move up, you can get them all there in an hour
After he had hung up, the Major groaned to himselfNow everything would have to be moved aroundThe reserve company he had alerted from the 460th would have to fill in the flanks and rear of the salient and would be spread thinWhy had the Japs left? Was it a trap?
The Major remembered a heavy artillery barrage the night before on that empty Jap positionIt was possible the CO of that Jap company had pulled out without letting anybody knowThere were cases where the Japs did that which he had heard about, but it seemed a little unbelievable
If it was true he'd have to get some men through that breach before Toyaku discovered itThe troops were supposed to have this day quiet, but if he ever got his men through he'd have to begin a frontal attack again, chanel earrings and he'd have to work fast if any results were to come of it before nightfallIt meant he had to alert the entire reserve battalion now, start some of them moving right now because there weren't trucks enough to bring them all up at onceThe Major plucked abstractedly at the wet cloth under his armpitsThe whole day would be wasted on the road nowNothing would be done thereAnd he'd have to use every truck in the division to bring up new rations, more ammunition than had been planned for todayThe transportation would be wickedHe had a flare of hatred for the squad leader who had started all the trouble this morning
He called up Hobart, and told him to make a transportation schedule, and then he went over to the G-2 tent, and talked to Conn, explained what had happened
"Bygod, you're letting yourself in for a omega usa noose," Conn told him
"What the hell can I do? You're intelligence, why is that bivouac empty?"
Conn shrugged"The goddam Japs are settin' a trap
Dalleson walked back to his own tent, abysmally depressedIt would be a trap, but still he had to go into itHobart's men were trying to make up a transportation schedule to supply the new positions of the line companies; Conn's section was going back over old intelligence reportsThere was something messy somewhereWell, he'd have to blunder through on luck, send most of the ordnance to the new hole in the front, hope the other sectors would have enough to get by
Dalleson alerted the reserve battalion, ordered the first movement of their troopsIt would be time for lunch soon and he would have to miss itHis belly knotted into cramps from the iced beerHe thought white chanel bag with distaste of the tinned cheese in the blue K rationHe would have to eat that instead to bind him up
"Any paregoric in the tent?" he bawled
He turned to one of the clerks and sent him to the aid tentThe heat dripped languidly about his bodyIt was Windmill reporting he had moved his company upA few minutes later the CO of the initial reserve company phoned that his men were digging in on the flanks
Now he would have to send the battalion throughDalleson had a headacheWhat would they do? He had had some precedent for everything up until now, but this was a vacuumThe main Japanese supply depot was about a mile and a half behind E Company's new positions, and maybe he should try to capture thatOr he could roll up the flankBut the Major could not imagine thatThe hole was a hole on paperHe had visited all the chanel classic bag positions, he knew what the bivouacs looked like, but he had never understood exactly what went onThere were spaces between the companiesThe front was not a solid line -- it was a string of dots separated from each otherNow he had some men behind the Japanese dots and he would have more later, but what would they do? How did you go about rolling up a flank? He had a picture for a moment of the troops moving sullenly along a jungle trail swearing at the heat, but he could not connect that to the figures on the map
An insect crawled sluggishly over his desk and he flicked it offJust what in the Sam Hill was he going to do? By tonight everything would be a shamblesNobody would know where anybody else was, and they'd never get all the wire laid straightThe radios would probably be out from static or some lousy chanel wallet purse h

He knew he would not be chosen as one of the litter-bearers, and this once it made him bitterHis nerves were still taut from the ambushHe knew Brown would maneuver himself into going back with Wilson, while he would have to go ahead with the platoon"You're right, Sergeant, we can spare only four litter-bearers His voice was easy, forceful, as if he had been commanding them for a long time"We never can tell when some other man jack is going to get hit, and we'll need bearers for him
This was the wrong thing to sayThey all looked glum, and their mouths tightened"Goddammit," Brown blurted out, "we been pretty lucky up to now paolo gucci women's watches this campaignOutside of Hennessey and Togliowhy in the hell did it have to be Wilson?"
Martinez rubbed his fingertips, staring at the groundHe slapped at an insect on his neck
"We might be able to get him back okay," Brown said"You're gonna send a noncom with the litter-bearers, aren't you, Lootenant?"
Hearn didn't know the procedure, but there was no point in admitting it"I think we can spare one of you noncoms
Brown wanted to be pickedHe had concealed it from the others, but nevertheless he had gone to pieces behind the ledge"I guess it's Martinez's turn to go back," he said, however, not without guile, for he knew discount tiffany's necklace Croft would want Martinez with himYet on another level Brown was trying to be fair
"I need Japbait," Croft said shortly"I guess it'll be you, Brown
"Any way you want it Brown rubbed his hand over his cropped brown hair, fingered a jungle ulcer on his chinHe felt vaguely guilty"Who'll I take?"
Croft reflected"How 'bout Ridges and Goldstein, Lootenant?"
"You know the men better than I
"Well, they ain't much fuggin good, but they're strong enough, an' if you push 'em, Brown, they ain't gonna goof-off on yaThey were awright when we carried Wilson back from where he got hit Croft looked at themHe remembered that Stanley omega geneve and Red and Gallagher had almost got into a fight on the boatStanley had crawfished, and he wouldn't be much use nowStill, he was a smart kid, Croft thought, probably smarter than Brown
"Who else?"
"I figure you need a good man since you got a coupla fug-upsHow about takin' Stanley?"
"Sure
Stanley was not certain what he wantedHe was relieved to be heading back for the beach, to be out of the patrol, but still he felt cheatedIf he stayed with the platoon, there would be better chances later with Croft and the LieutenantHe didn't want any more combat, not like that ambush certainly, but stillIt was Brown's fault, he told cartier santos de cartier himself"If you think I oughta go, I'll go, Sam, but I kinda feel as if I ought to stay with the platoon
"Naw, you go with Brown Any answer would have left Stanley unsatisfiedIt was like spinning a coin to decide your decision, and wishing the coin had landed on the other side
Hearn scratched his armpitWhat a goddam mess! He chewed on some grass, spat it out quietlyWhen they had brought Wilson back, he had beenall right, he had been annoyedThat was the first emotion, the honest oneIf they hadn't found him the patrol would be relatively simple, and now they were shorthandedIt was a hell of a thing for a platoon leader to omega seamaster de ville feel